Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

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Rachael7

Posts: 3

Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:18 pm

Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:55 pm

Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

Today has been one of the hardest days of my life, my partner left for his first tour of Afghan and I literally cannot stop crying....any tips on how to cope would be gratefully received! Just found this site and I am working my way through the info between sobs.
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judith

Site Admin

Posts: 219

Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:55 am

Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:47 am

Re: Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

Hi Rachael,

I am so pleased you found here because as you work through this site it will help you bucketsful for most things. We all know how you feel so you need lots of hugs....i cant give you real ones but maybe a few caring vibes sent in your direction may cheer you up. Do click on "chatroom" & come in for a natter. We are a lovely bunch. Its never easy to cope but gradually you will improve to manage it. You may feel pretty rough but trust me you are stronger than you think you are. Have you got close family & understanding friends to support you ? Sometimes friends dont understand how deep you hurt & so they back off a bit. Any queries then just ask. Thats what here is for.

I look forward to you dropping in the chatroom. Evenings are best. Take care & smile when you can & try to keep busy....less empty time means less thinking time. Try to think positive. You are one very brave lady & you are his link to normality to boost your partner up through the tour.

Big hugs.

Judith xxx :D :D :D
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Dee007

Posts: 32

Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:49 pm

Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:07 pm

Re: Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

Hi Racheal..

Just saw your post. It brings back so many memories of when my son went out to Afghan last year..All i did was cry.I didnt know what to do or how to cope..

But the i found Forces Chatter and Judith. this site is so good and has got lots of advice..All which does help..Then if you want a more personnell touch you can come into the chatroom for a warm and friendly chat. We chat bout everything and anything. the weather or tv programmes.

Then Judith sets a challenge every month which is so much fun to do..I was always doing them..I get bored now he is back lol.

You have to keep your self busy.. doing little things like clearing out a cupboard. its amazing how better you feel. Set your self a goal for each week..IE. sort your wardrobe. or sort out the towels and sheets. Just silly little things will keep you busy.. then you will be so proud of yourself as you have got through a week and have had a good clear out..it does help..Men can hoard such rubbish at times..lol

Keep smiling and remeber that The chatroom is here..So pop in and have a chat..

Love N Hugs
Dee xx
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Rachael7

Posts: 3

Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:18 pm

Mon Feb 04, 2013 8:36 pm

Re: Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

Thank you Ladies, I will take your advice and get busy! I do have fantastic support from family and friends, and I also have two wonderful sons who are being very kind and patient with me right now....I work full time, but I've taken this week off as I didn't think I would be able to concentrate much. My housework has suffered a bit over past few weeks with trying to spend as much quality time as poss with my partner before he left, so tomorrow I shall start a good spring clean! Unfortunately I can't get into the chat room, I only have an ipad and it doesn't support java which you need to do the chat, grrrr. Modern technology!
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Rachael7

Posts: 3

Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:18 pm

Thu Feb 07, 2013 10:22 am

Re: Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

My house is gleaming!! And I had my first phone call from him yesterday, which has made me feel so much better. Three days of zero contact is not good, should I get used to that though?? As the days have past, I've become a lot less emotional, thank the lords. My eyes were really starting to look awful! I've sent my first 'shoe box' parcel, bluey and e bluey (which he got yesterday), and I'd starting to put together the next parcel. Any ideas for what I can send apart from the usual sweeties, magazines, gum etc? I did get some tips off the website, but just wondered if you had any unusual ideas? Also, should I send blu tack so he can put pics and cards up on wall?? I know these are questions I should have really asked him, but we only had 15 mins on phone and it just seemed swallowed up by how his journey was, what the camp was like etc. plus my memory is shocking and I forgot to ask him little questions like that. Hopefully he will get his laptop unpacked in next few days so contact via email can start.
Thanks again for advice Ladies.

Big help!

Xx
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judith

Site Admin

Posts: 219

Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:55 am

Thu Feb 07, 2013 2:58 pm

Re: Tips for a very emotional first timer please....

Hi Rachael,
Whooooo its always great to hear from them so you must be over the moon. Unfortunately its never as often as you would like or for as long as you would like but you will get used to that as some days they cant get to a phone because of where they are or because they are doing a long shift. You know he loves you & is missing you as much as you do him so he will try his hardest to grab every moment when he can. Once he gets his laptop up & running then things will be even more brilliant. I am very happy for you. Glad you are feeling a lot better now :D Keep busy & your house will be gleaming by the time he gets back. There are suggestions on Keeping busy too. If you want a list of ideas on what to send then go to the Keeping in Touch section where there are 2 lists. "What to send" & Useful & hilarious. I am sure you will get loads of ideas from it. There is also a list on what not to send as some things are illegal. I assume your ipad can get you round the sections of the site. Such a pity you can't get into the chatroom.
Sorry but I wouldn't know if he will need blu tac. I never sent my son or daughter any so i havent a clue if they use it or find some other way to stick things up.Write things down of questions you want to ask him & put it next to the phone to jog your memory.

Big hugs, Judith xx :D

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